Unbelievable Luxury Awaits: Peermont Metcourt, Thohoyandou's Hidden Gem!
Unbelievable Luxury Awaits: Peermont Metcourt, Thohoyandou's Hidden Gem! (…or Is It?) – A Brutally Honest Review.
Okay, people, listen up! I've just clawed my way back from a whirlwind adventure to the land of Thohoyandou, and let me tell you, Unbelievable Luxury Awaits: Peermont Metcourt – that’s what they call it. Now, I’ve stayed in a few places in my time, from fleabag hostels to places where you need to take a second mortgage just to order room service, so I'm not easily impressed. But Metcourt? Well, lemme unravel that tangled ball of yarn for you. Buckle up, this is gonna be a ride.
First Impressions and Accessibility Sh*t (Because it Matters!)
Finding the place was… well, let’s just say my GPS and I had a moment. The drive in? Beautiful. Lush, green, almost impossibly vibrant. Then, bam! You're at the Metcourt. Now, I'm not gonna lie, my first thought was, "Is this it?" It doesn't exactly scream "hidden gem" from the outside. It's… functional. Kind of understated.
But! And this is a BIG BUT (and trust me, after the buffet, you'll understand), Accessibility is a major win. Wheelchair accessible throughout, which is HUGE. The elevator is slick, the facilities for disabled guests are genuinely thoughtful, and the whole shebang feels considered, not just “tacked on.” Bonus: Car parking is free of charge, which, considering the state of hotel parking in the world, is basically a free hug from a parking attendant.
Cleanliness and Safety – Because, You Know… Life, Lately
Right, so after 2020, we're all obsessed with cleanliness. And Metcourt gets it. Anti-viral cleaning products, Daily disinfection in common areas, Rooms sanitized between stays – the whole shebang. I may or may not have peered into a cleaning cart to check the labels (judge me, I can handle it). I felt genuinely safe. They've got your back with stuff like Hand sanitizer everywhere and Staff trained in safety protocol. Lots of CCTV in common areas and outside the property, which always makes me feel a bit like I’m in a spy movie.
The Room: My Oasis (…or a Mildly Chaotic Sanctuary?)
Okay, the Non-smoking rooms are a must – unless you're into smelling like a stale ashtray, which, frankly, is a personal choice. The soundproof rooms were a blessing – I swear, some people could wake up the dead with their snoring. My room? Pretty darn good. It had air conditioning (thank GOD, it gets HOT!), a desk (important for us working stiffs), and a super comfy bed with extra long bed (because I'm 6'2", people!). Free Wi-Fi in all rooms! – a lifesaver for an addict like myself. And a coffee/tea maker? Essential for fending off the morning grumps.
But here’s where it gets real. The bathroom… felt a tiny bit… dated. Not awful, just… not quite the "unbelievable luxury" the brochure promised. The towels were fluffy, though, and the shower had actually good water pressure. Victory!
Internet Access and Wi-Fi – The Modern Necessity
Thank god. Free Wi-Fi – again, I cannot stress this enough -- the fact that I can have Internet access – wireless is such a relief. I could also get Internet access – LAN if I was so inclined. A modern day hero.
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking – The Fuel of Life (and My Inner Critic)
Okay, let’s talk food. Because, let's be honest, that's where things get interesting.
The Breakfast [buffet]… oh, the buffet. It's an experience. A glorious, carb-laden, bacon-drenched experience. Buffet in restaurant – absolutely. Asian breakfast? Surprisingly delicious. Western breakfast? Standard, but solid. The Coffee/tea in restaurant was decent, but the real star was the variety… I may or may not have tried everything. Several times.
They had Restaurants galore: the main restaurant offers International cuisine in restaurant and some Asian cuisine in restaurant options. I spotted some Desserts in restaurant – oh, the desserts! A Snack bar for those mid-afternoon cravings, and even a Poolside bar for those perfect sunsets. The Room service [24-hour] is a godsend, especially after a long day of… you know… relaxing. The Happy hour was… well, it was happy.
The caveat? It’s not Michelin star dining. The A la carte in restaurant menu was promising, but execution was a bit… inconsistent. Some dishes were divine, others… let’s just say I’ve had better microwaved meals. But hey, you win some, you lose some.
Ways to Relax… or Attempt to
This is where Metcourt shines. They’ve got a swimming pool (outdoor), and a pool with a view! Glorious. Seriously, the pool area is beautiful, a proper oasis. Then they have a Gym/fitness, a Spa, a Sauna, Steamroom and a Massage. I might have spent an entire afternoon in the Spa/sauna – and emerged looking like a prune. The Body scrub and Body wrap were tempting, but I opted for a no-frills massage instead. Best decision ever.
Things to Do – Beyond the Pool (if you feel like leaving it)
Okay, so, the hotel itself is a bit of a destination. But! Things to do? Uh… well, it's a bit limited onsite, truth be told. But that doesn’t mean you can’t find ways to occupy your time! They have facilities for meeting/banquet facilities and meetings, as well as Audio-visual equipment for special events. They even will let you host an On-site event hosting. Honestly, they probably have something for your special occasion.
Services and Conveniences – The Little Things That Matter
They’ve thought of most things. Daily housekeeping, Laundry service, Dry cleaning, Air conditioning in public area, Concierge to help with almost anything, Currency exchange, Cash withdrawal. Little things like Luggage storage and Safety deposit boxes. But more importantly, the staff were genuinely helpful and friendly. This can make the whole experience much more enjoyable.
For the Kids – Family Fun!
Family/child friendly? Yes, definitely! They have Kids facilities, and Babysitting service, though I couldn't use it.
My Final Verdict: Hidden Gem? Maybe… With a Few Pebbles.
Look, Peermont Metcourt isn’t perfect. It's not going to blow your mind with avant-garde design or mind-bending gastronomy. BUT! It’s comfortable. It’s clean. It’s got amazing spa facilities. It's safe, and it is incredibly accessible. And if you're looking for a relaxing getaway, especially if you need accessibility, it’s a solid choice. Just manage your expectations on the food, and prepare to spend a lot of time poolside (or in the spa).
Would I go back? Yes. Honestly, I would. The staff were lovely, the pool was divine, and the whole experience was relaxing and easy. And hey, after a particularly stressful year, that counts for a lot.
My Offer (to You!)
Ready to escape the everyday? Book your stay at Peermont Metcourt TODAY and get:
- 15% off your first night (use code: HIDDENGEM)!
- Complimentary breakfast (because carbs are life)!
- A free massage at the spa (because you deserve it)!
But hurry! This offer is available for a limited time only! Click here to book your Unbelievable Luxury Awaits: Peermont Metcourt, Thohoyandou's Hidden Gem! experience!
Disclaimer: Results of the buffet may vary. May or may not resemble the brochure photos. Excess bacon consumption may occur. I am not responsible for spa-induced bliss or excessive pool time. Book today! (I get a commission, you know).
Uncover the Hidden Secrets of Nishijin Fujita: Japan's Best-Kept Textile Treasure!
Alright, buckle up buttercups. This ain’t your pristine, perfectly-planned travel brochure. This is real life, Peermont Metcourt at Khoroni Edition. Prepare for a bumpy ride… metaphorically, I hope.
Day 1: Arrival & Casino Chaos (and a whole lotta ‘meh’)
14:00 - Landing in Polokwane (via OR Tambo, because direct flights to Thohoyandou are clearly overrated). Ugh, the flight. Let's just say I'm not exactly a graceful flyer. I’m that person who stares at the emergency exit, imagining all the ways things could go horribly wrong. Plus, the guy next to me kept spilling his coffee. A small, petty thing, but it set the tone, alright?
16:30 - Car Rental Hell & the Dreaded Drive: Picking up the rental car felt like a test of patience. The agent was… thorough. Like really thorough. After an hour of paperwork and trying (and failing) to understand all the optional insurance, Finally on the road. The drive to Thohoyandou? An… experience. The GPS kept taking us down dirt tracks, I swear. And the potholes! South African roads, you've got my respect… and a slightly sprained ankle from slamming on the brakes.
- Anecdote: At one point, we were convinced we'd taken a wrong turn and ended up on some farmer's private property. A very confused (and possibly slightly aggressive) sheepdog gave us the stink eye as we slowly reversed. I was pretty sure it was going to attack.
19:00 - Arrival at Peermont Metcourt at Khoroni: Okay, the hotel itself is… fine. Clean. Standard issue. The real reason I'm here is that the rest of my group is already here after a long tiring flight and drive so I'm trying to catch up.
19:30 - Dinner at the hotel restaurant "Meh," My tastebuds are not exactly screaming in joy, but at least I'm not actively disgusted.
21:00 - Casino Debacle: Right, this is where things start to get interesting… or disastrous, depending on your perspective. I've never gambled before. Big mistake. I'm not even sure what I was doing. I put some money in a slot machine and… nothing. Then I lost a bunch. Then I lost a bunch MORE. The lights, the noise, the other players all gave me a headache. I’m pretty sure I'm not cut out for this whole "casino" thing.
- Emotional Reaction: I was simultaneously thrilled at the adrenaline rush of the game and feeling like a complete idiot. I ended the night down a hefty amount (for me, anyway). I had a moment of sheer panic, thinking I'd blown all my travel funds on a flashing box of despair.
23:00 - Retreat to my Room: Defeated. Slightly buzzed. Definitely feeling like a failure.
Day 2: Cultural Immersion… and a Stolen Hat
- 09:00 - Breakfast: The buffet was… okay. Mostly the same stuff as dinner, but with more options I might not touch.
- 10:00 - Visit to the Phiphidi Waterfall: Okay, this was actually fantastic! The waterfall itself is so beautiful, the rush of water, the spray on your face… The air was fresh, and for a brief moment, I forgot about the looming shadow of the casino.
- Quirky Observation: I saw a group of baboons trying to steal someone’s picnic. Absolute chaos. I'm pretty sure one of them winked at me.
- 12:00 - Lunch at a Local Restaurant: I'm not going to lie, I got a bit lost driving. I turned into a dusty lane, but I finally made it. The food was authentic, delicious, and spicy, which I loved. The people were friendly, and I felt like I was actually experiencing something.
- 14:00 - The Thing About the Hat: So, this is a bit of a weird one. I bought this amazing hat from a local artisan. It was bright, stylish, and I adored it. I went to a local community. I left it on a bench while I was chatting to some locals. When I went back… gone. Stolen!
- Strong Emotional Reaction: I was livid. My favorite hat! How could someone just take it? My mood plummeted. It was a symbol of my trip, darn it! I was so angry, frustrated, and then a little bit sad. This took a LOT of my anger out of all the negative things that happened at the casino.
- 16:00 - Back to the Hotel for a Nap: This is where the messiness of the itinerary really sets in. The hat thing threw me off. I was annoyed and tired, so I just needed a break.
- 19:00 - Dinner at a Local Restaurant: I was determined to salvage the day, so I went for some incredible local food.
Day 3: Departure… and a Vow (Maybe)
09:00 - Breakfast: A better mood for the day.
10:00 - Last-Minute Souvenir Shopping: I found a replacement hat, because I was determined to not let the previous day's hat incident ruin my trip.
12:00 - Scenic Drive: Another scenic drive, because I needed to clear my head and appreciate the beautiful scenery.
14:00 - Head to the Airport: The drive back to Polokwane was better this time. I got to see more of the countryside.
16:00 - Flight Home (hopefully without any spilled coffee or aggressive sheepdogs): The airport. More waiting. The end.
Final Thoughts: Overall the trip was a mixed bag. I enjoyed some aspects, and other aspects were less than desirable. But it was real. It was imperfect. And in a strange way, that made it memorable.
- Future Vow: Maybe I'll stick to activities that involve less chance and more appreciation for the good things in life. And, you know, keep a tighter grip on my hats.
Unbelievable Luxury... Or a Bit of a Gamble? Peermont Metcourt, Thohoyandou - Let's Get Real!
Okay, so "Unbelievable Luxury" – is that just marketing fluff? What's REALLY the vibe at Metcourt?
Right, let's not beat around the bush. "Unbelievable Luxury"? Look, it ain't the Burj Al Arab, okay? They're aiming for a certain level of elegance, and honestly, sometimes they hit the mark, sometimes... well, it feels more like a slightly posh Holiday Inn. I had a friend who went with impossibly high expectations (he's one of those guys who *demands* a pillow menu), and he was devastated. Said the "luxury" was about as subtle as a slap in the face with a bag of gold coins. Haha! Me? I'm a bit more forgiving. The vibe? Relaxed, friendly, but definitely a bit... South African. You know, the kind of place where the aircon might or might not work perfectly, and the service can be a bit... enthusiastic. Which, honestly, I sometimes prefer to forced perfection. It’s definitely aiming for ‘chic’ but sometimes stumbles into ‘charmingly quirky’.
The rooms – are they worth the price tag? Spill the tea!
The rooms, let's say they're... variable. I stayed in a "Superior" room, which, based on the pictures on the website, promised marble and silk sheets. Reality? It was... fine. Clean, comfortable bed, a decent-sized bathroom (with a shower that *almost* got the temperature right). The problem? The view. I got a cracking view… of the air conditioning units. My friend, though? She’d saved up for the "Executive Suite." Said it was lovely. She, however, *always* gets upgraded, so take that with a grain of salt. Honestly? I couldn't quite justify the price, it felt a bit… overinflated. But the AC *did* work, which is always a bonus in the Thohoyandou heat. Maybe pack an eye mask if you expect a view.
Food, glorious food! What’s the dining situation like?
Okay, the food. This is where things get... interesting. There's a restaurant, a buffet (for breakfast), and a bar that serves snacks. The buffet is a solid choice for breakfast. Eggs, bacon, the usual suspects, plus some slightly… adventurous local options. I accidentally tried a *very* interesting sausage one morning, I'll leave it at that. The a la carte restaurant? A mixed bag. One night, the steak was fantastic. Perfectly cooked, melt-in-your-mouth stuff. The next night? Well, let's just say I’m pretty sure they’d 'misplaced' my order, and when it *finally* arrived it was… well, let’s just say I could have bounced it. But, the staff were super apologetic, and they did offer a free dessert. So, swings and roundabouts, right? The bar snacks are your safest bet for a quick bite. Don't go expecting Michelin star quality, but they'll definitely fill a hole. And the cocktails are decent, which is always a win.
The Casino – is it worth a punt?
Look, I'm not a gambler. My idea of 'risking it all' is ordering the expensive coffee in the morning. But, yeah, there is a casino. A proper one, with flashing lights, the whole shebang. I wandered through once, just to have a look (nosey, I know!). It seemed busy, with a pretty good mix of people. Definitely a fun atmosphere if you're into that sort of thing. I saw a lady win big, and she nearly fainted! The security guards seemed very attentive, which is always a good sign. Just be careful… The lure of sparkly lights can drain your bank account quicker than you can say "jackpot."
What about the pool and other amenities? Are they swanky?
The pool! Okay, let’s be real. It's a pool. It's clean. It's... functional. It's not an infinity pool overlooking the ocean, mind you. It's a perfectly adequate rectangular thing. I saw a toddler throw a rubber duck in it, but the staff quickly fished it out. There’s a small gym, which I didn’t use (exercise? In *Thohoyandou*? You're joking, right?), and a spa... which I did *almost* use. But the prices seemed a tad steep. I thought about it, I really did, I was desperate for a massage, but I ended up just buying a bottle of wine and watching TV in my room. Priorities, people! The spa does have good reviews, though…. If you're feeling flush. Just remember to pack your own flip-flops - the ones they give you in the room are kinda… flimsy.
Is it family-friendly? Or more for couples/business travellers?
It's a bit of a mix, actually. I saw families there, having a great time at the pool and in the restaurant. There’s not a dedicated kids' club or anything like that, so it's not exactly a "family resort" in the Disney sense. I'd classify it as "potentially family-friendly." I also saw a lot of business types, probably in town for meetings. And, of course, plenty of couples looking for a weekend away. So, yeah, it caters to a wide range of people. Just be prepared for *some* noise and the occasional screaming toddler. Or the overly-enthusiastic businessman on his phone. It’s not a silent retreat, put it that way. It's more… "vibrantly diverse," shall we say?
Let's talk about location! Is it a good base for exploring the area?
Ah, the location! Okay, Metcourt is *in* Thohoyandou. Which, let's be honest, isn't exactly a bustling metropolis. The town itself, is… well, it's Thohoyandou. It's not exactly overflowing with tourist attractions, but it's close to the Thathe Vondo sacred forest (which is worth a visit – it’s stunning!) and near to the Punda Maria gate for Kruger - perfect if you're looking to do a safari experience. Getting around is generally pretty easy if you have a car. The hotel is pretty central, which means you're close to shops, restaurants, and… well, mostly shops. But, if you're there for a specific reason (like a business trip or visiting family), it's convenient. Just don't expect to be stumbling out of the hotel into a vibrant nightlife scene.
