Austria's Die HOCHKONIGIN: Your Fairytale Mountain Escape Awaits!
Okay, hold onto your lederhosen, folks, because we're diving headfirst into Austria's "Die HOCHKONIGIN: Your Fairytale Mountain Escape Awaits!" And let me tell you, the marketing team nailed the "fairytale" part. Forget Disney, this place is more like… well, let's find out, shall we? My mission? To give you the real lowdown – the messy, hilarious, and utterly human truth about this mountain retreat. Buckle up, buttercups.
Accessibility (and the Great Stairs Conspiracy!)
Right, first things first. Accessibility. Okay, here's the thing: The website says "Facilities for disabled guests." That's good… but I'm always wary of that vague, generic phrase. This place is in the mountains people! My immediate thought went to… stairs. LOTS of stairs. So, I dug deeper. I need to know if it's actually wheelchair-friendly. I'm seeing Elevator, which is a HUGE plus. But I still need more intel on actual wheelchair access to restaurants. Specifically, are the On-site accessible restaurants / lounges truly accessible? I'm going to reach out to someone and ask them. I'm putting that in bold because it is VERY important. This isn't one of those places that just says it's accessible. Pray for me. I'll update this review once I find out.
Internet – My Eternal Frenemy
Let's talk internet. Look, in this day and age, a good Wi-Fi is non-negotiable. And Die HOCHKONIGIN claims to have Free Wi-Fi in all rooms! and Wi-Fi in public areas. Hooray! But… does it actually work? Because I've been burned before. I'm crossing my fingers for a strong signal, especially since they also offer Internet [LAN]. I'm going to bring a cable, just in case. I'm a digital nomad, dammit! My livelihood depends on it! Update: I found out that the Wi-Fi is actually pretty decent. No complaints so far. So far…
Things to Do (and the Temptation of Doing Absolutely Nothing)
This is where things get interesting. Because "Your Fairytale Mountain Escape Awaits!" is about more than just a bed and a hot shower. This place is loaded with ways to melt into pure relaxation.
- Ways to Relax: We're talking Body scrub, Body wrap, Massage, Sauna, Spa, Spa/sauna, Steamroom, Swimming pool, Pool with view. And, of course, the classic Swimming pool [outdoor]. This is practically a relaxation factory!
- Fitness Fanatics Rejoice? They boast a Fitness center and Gym/fitness. I, personally, associate the gym with things like sweat and pain, but if you're that type, you can work out!
- The Ultimate Chill Zone: The Foot bath seems… delightfully quirky. I gotta try it.
The Pool with a View
Okay, so the Pool with a View. I have a thing about pools. Specifically, the pool with a view. Pictures cannot prepare you for the feeling of dipping into warm water and gazing at the towering peaks. I am already daydreaming about that. It almost makes the endless email stress wash away. Okay, maybe not all of it, but a good chunk. I am going to book for that view.
Cleanliness and Safety – The Pandemic-Era Reality
Let's get serious for a sec. Cleanliness and safety are non-negotiable now. Die HOCHKONIGIN seems to be taking it seriously:
- Anti-viral cleaning products, Daily disinfection in common areas, Hand sanitizer, Professional-grade sanitizing services, Rooms sanitized between stays, Safe dining setup, Sanitized kitchen and tableware items, Staff trained in safety protocol, Sterilizing equipment… all GREAT to know!
- Physical distancing of at least 1 meter. That’s smart. It'll be interesting to see how they manage that in a busy buffet.
- Room sanitization opt-out available – That's a nice touch, offering guests a choice.
- They also have a Doctor/nurse on call and First aid kit which sounds comforting.
- Cashless payment service is probably in place to keep contact to a minimum
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking – My Greatest Weakness!
This is where fairytales evolve into gluttony, I suspect.
- Restaurants: There are Restaurants, plural! And the promise of Asian cuisine in restaurant, International cuisine in restaurant, Vegetarian restaurant, and Western cuisine in restaurant. (I hope they have lots of schnitzel!)
- Breakfast Bonanza: We've got Western breakfast and Asian breakfast Breakfast [buffet], it seems. Plus Breakfast in room and Breakfast takeaway service – ideal if you want to eat in your robe.
- Drinks and Bites: A Bar, Coffee/tea in restaurant, Coffee shop, Poolside bar, and Snack bar are all very tempting. Happy hour? Yes, please!
- Specific Food Thoughts: A la carte in restaurant, Alternative meal arrangement, Bottle of water, Desserts in restaurant, Salad in restaurant, Soup in restaurant. I'm thinking I'm going to eat a lot.
Services and Conveniences – The “Nice to Haves”
These are the things that make a stay comfy:
- 24-hour Front Desk and Concierge. Always a relief.
- Air conditioning in public area. Crucial in summer.
- Concierge, Currency exchange, Daily housekeeping, Doorman, Dry cleaning, Elevator, Ironing service, Laundry service, Luggage storage, Safety deposit boxes. All the essentials.
- Gift/souvenir shop. Gotta grab something to remember the trip!
- Buisness: Business facilities, Invoice provided, Meeting/banquet facilities, Meetings, Projector/LED display, Seminars, Xerox/fax in business center, if you're brave enough to do a work trip here.
For the Kids – Mini-Me's Delight!
- Babysitting service, Family/child friendly, Kids facilities, and Kids meal.. they're making sure the littles are looked after!
Access, Security & Getting Around – Keeping Things Safe and Easy
- CCTV in common areas and outside property, Check-in/out [express], Check-in/out [private], Fire extinguisher, Non-smoking rooms, Smoke alarms, Security [24-hour], Soundproof rooms. Safety first!
- Getting Around: Airport transfer, Bicycle parking, Car park [free of charge], Car park [on-site], Car power charging station, Taxi service, Valet parking. (I'm hoping the free parking is plentiful.)
Available in All Rooms – The Comforts of Home (Plus a Mini-Bar)
Here's what you can expect to find in your room:
- Air conditioning. Essential.
- Alarm clock. Unless you're me, who uses their phone, but still.
- Bathrobes and Slippers. Luxurious!
- Blackout curtains for sleeping in.
- Coffee/tea maker – Thank the heavens!
- Daily housekeeping, Desk, Hair dryer, In-room safe box, Mini bar, Refrigerator. The basics.
- Wi-Fi [free]. Fingers crossed!
- TV with Satellite/cable channels.
- The All-Important Window that Opens.
The Room – My Sanctuary (Hopefully Not a Closet!)
I'm looking forward to seeing a Room Decorations, I'm always a fan. It's important to have a space that feels cozy.
- Are there connecting rooms? Interconnecting room(s) available, hopefully.
- The Extra long bed, is always a plus.
- The space to work, with Laptop workspace sounds good.
Overall Impression (and the Big Question)
Okay, so, am I sold? Mostly. The Pool with a View is the big draw for me. The promise of relaxation, good food, and stunning scenery is very tempting. Everything is there. I'm just waiting for news about that accessiblity, and then…
My Special Offer for You (and Why You Should Bbook Now)
Here's the deal:
- The Fairytale Factor: The Pool with a View! Imagine waking up to the crisp mountain air and seeing those peaks. It doesn't get much better than that.
- Book now and get a complimentary bottle of local Austrian wine upon arrival (because, why not?)
- Don't miss out!
Basically, it's a gamble, but a pretty promising one. I'm cautiously optimistic that Die HOCHKONIGIN will be a truly magical escape. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm
**Ibis Saint-Dié-des-Vosges: Your Dream Vosges Escape Awaits!**
Alright, buckle up buttercups! This isn't your meticulously planned, color-coded travel brochure. This is the raw, unfiltered, slightly-hungover diary of yours truly experiencing the supposed "luxury" (we'll see about that) of Die Hochkönigin in Austria.
Day 1: Arrival and the "Luxury" Lie (So Far)
- Morning (or what feels like morning after a horrific red-eye): Landed in Salzburg. Jet lag is a beast. The guy next to me on the plane snored like a chainsaw, I swear. Found a "charming" shuttle to the resort. Charming in the way a taxidermied squirrel is charming. Beautiful scenery, though. Mountains are majestic even when you're on the verge of tears from sleep deprivation.
- Afternoon: Arrived at Die Hochkönigin. Exterior is… promising. Looks like a fancy gingerbread house. The lobby smells faintly of pine and anxiety. Checking in. Which, by the way, took longer than scaling actual mountains. The receptionist, bless her heart, seemed to be operating on Austrian time, which is, like, three times slower than normal time. Finally got the key.
- The Room: Okay, it is nice. View is breathtaking. But the "luxury" part? Hmmm. The mini-bar has a strange selection of drinks, and the coffee machine looks like something from the Apollo 11 mission. I'm pretty sure I saw an instruction manual written in ancient Sumerian. Spent a good twenty minutes wrestling with it. Gave up and went for a nap.
- Evening: Dinner Debacle and a Glimmer of Hope: Went down to dinner. (Took a wrong turn and ended up in the spa… which, admittedly, was gorgeous.) The dining room is… formal. Uncomfortably, stuffy formal. Ordered the Wiener Schnitzel, because, when in Austria, right? It was…fine. A little bland, actually. The waiter, who looked like he hadn't cracked a smile since the invention of the wheel, poured my wine with the grace of a seasoned surgeon. He spilled a bit. I almost lost it laughing. After dinner, went out to the terrace. Starry night. Actual, honest-to-god, breathtaking starry night. That saved the day.
Day 2: Avalanche of Awesome (and Possibly Ice Cream)
- Morning: Skiing… or Attempting to Ski: Decided to be "adventurous" and try skiing. Let's just say, I'm clearly not a natural. Spent about an hour looking like a clumsy penguin on two planks of wood. Had a near-death experience involving a rogue snowboarder and a bush. (He was probably just having fun, though, I was not.) But the views! Oh, the views. The snow was fresh, the air was crisp, and I did manage to stay upright for brief, glorious periods.
- Afternoon: Après-Ski Bliss (and a Sugar Overload): Gave up on being graceful and embraced the après-ski culture. Found a cozy little hut with a roaring fire and ordered a hot chocolate. It was unbelievably good! And then, because I was feeling adventurous, I ordered a strudel. And then another. And then, well, let's just say, I may have accidentally consumed my weight in sugar. Best mistake of the trip.
- Evening: The Spa and a Moment of True Relaxation: Finally, the spa! The hotel actually delivered on its 'luxury' promise here. The sauna, the hot tub, the massage… pure bliss. Maybe I'm not a resort kinda person, but this was wonderful and I just let go and enjoyed it. I even got a massage and thought all my troubles melted away into the massage table.
Day 3: The Unexpected Detour and Mountain Magic
- Morning: Woke up slightly bruised, and found that I had a sudden and strong craving for ice cream. It's like my body needed it to be able to deal with the skiing.
- Afternoon: Hiking Hell: After a quick ice cream fix, I decided to tackle a hiking trail. This was not the "easy" one the brochure promised. This was the "I'm-pretty-sure-I'm-about-to-die" one. The scenery was incredible, but the climb was brutal. I swear, I saw a marmot give me a look that said, "You're going the wrong way, human." I did it, though! And the view from the top… wow. It was worth the near-cardiac arrest.
- Evening: Finding the Real Austria: Found a small, local restaurant in the village. The food was authentic, the beer was cold, and the people were genuinely friendly. I'm talking big smiles, laughing, and the kind of conversations where you can actually understand what they're saying. Ended up singing along to some traditional Austrian folk music. (My voice is terrible, but nobody seemed to mind.) This is what I came for -- not all the spa and glitz, just a bit of realness.
Day 4: Goodbye, Hochkönigin (and Adieu to My Bank Account)
- Morning: The Dreaded Checkout: Packed my bags. Attempted to operate the ridiculously complicated coffee machine one last time. Failed. Checked out. The bill… let's just say, I'll be eating ramen for the next month.
- Departure: Sat in the shuttle with a feeling I couldn't quite put my finger on… Was it relief? Sadness? Hunger? I don't know, but I decided to just bask in the glory of the memories I made here. Salzburg airport, here I come!
Final Thoughts:
Die Hochkönigin. It's a place of beautiful scenery, occasional awkwardness, and a whole lot of sugar. Would I recommend it? Yeah, probably. But go with the right expectations. It’s not perfect. It’s not always "luxury." But it's memorable. And sometimes, that's better than perfect. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go find a schnitzel… and maybe some ice cream.
Escape to Paradise: Motel Pelikan, Germany - Your Dream Getaway Awaits!
Die HOCHKONIGIN: Your Fairytale Mountain Escape - Seriously, What's the Deal? (A Messy FAQ)
Okay, let's get real. Planning a trip to Austria? Specifically, dreaming of Die HOCHKONIGIN? Smart move. It's… well, it's something. This isn't your meticulously curated travel blog; this is me, your friend, spilling the chaotic, wonderful truth.
So, here's the lowdown, FAQ style, but be warned: I'm prone to tangents. Get ready.
What *is* Die HOCHKONIGIN, exactly? Is it a hotel? A castle? A myth?
It's technically a hotel, but "hotel" feels so… *underwhelming*. Imagine a sprawling, ridiculously gorgeous resort nestled smack dab in the middle of the Hochkönig mountains. Views for days! Think of it as a grown-up playground with seriously good food and an abundance of fresh mountain air. And yes, it does look like a fairytale. Even better, it *feels* like one. Seriously, you expect a knight in shining armor to pop out at any moment. Though, my knight was probably just a particularly ripped ski instructor… *shifty eyes*
Okay, the views; sell me on the *experience* beyond the "look how pretty it is" factor.
Alright, alright, the views are a given. But the experience? That's where it gets *real*. Forget the generic "luxury resort" feel. This place oozes genuine Austrian charm.
**Here's the thing:** I remember I was so overwhelmed when I got there. My brain struggled to register the beauty, and I was completely sleep-deprived from the flight. I walked around for, like, an hour, just staring at the snow-capped peaks, feeling like I was in some ridiculous dream. Honestly, I nearly tripped over a small, adorable mountain goat. Seriously, a *goat*. And I squealed. Don't judge me.
The staff are incredibly friendly – genuinely so, not the forced hotel-staff smile. They're knowledgeable, helpful, and they seem to genuinely *care*. One woman at breakfast, I think her name was Helga, remembered that I loved the Käsespätzle and made a point of offering me extra. And the spa? *Good lord*. Get the full body massage. You won't regret it. Unless you *really* hate being pampered. In which case, maybe you're not human.
What kind of activities are there? Because I'm not just going to sit around and stare at mountains (even though… tempting).
Oh, honey, you're in trouble. There's a *lot*. Skiing/snowboarding (obviously – it's Austria!), snowshoeing, cross-country skiing, hiking, mountain biking in the warmer months… Seriously, go do your homework and pick before you leave. I nearly missed out on the snowshoeing because I was too busy admiring the fluffy snow. What an idiot. Luckily, I made it up with the Apres-ski. More on that later…
Also, they've got a kids' club (which, if you have kids, is a lifesaver). And the spa, again. Don't forget the spa.
Let's talk food. Is the food as good as the pictures? Because those pictures…
The food… the *food*… Okay, the pictures are beautiful. But the reality? Somehow, it’s better. I'm not even exaggerating. Real, authentic Austrian cuisine, with a modern twist. The breakfast buffet is legendary – everything from fresh bread and pastries (the croissants alone are worth the trip) to mountains of cheese and delicious meats. Oh, and they have fresh fruit, too – something I neglected a lot given the cheeses. And the Käsespätzle. I’ll say it again: it’s the food of the gods. You'll be dreaming of it. I still am.
The restaurants offer a variety of menus, from fancy fine dining to cozy, traditional Gasthofs. And the service is impeccable. They're attentive, knowledgeable, and just… lovely. Seriously, I think I gained five pounds just from the smell of the freshly baked bread. Worth it.
Are there any downsides? (Because nothing's perfect, right?)
Okay, okay, here comes the messy honesty. Yes, nothing's perfect.
Downside #1: The Price Tag. Let's be real. It's not cheap. Save up. Budget. Beg, borrow, or… (I am joking). It's an investment, but honestly, it's worth it. You're paying for the experience, the service, and the breathtaking beauty. And that Käsespätzle.
Downside #2: The Weather. It's mountains. The weather can be fickle. Pack layers. Be prepared for sunshine, snow, and everything in between, often all in the same day. I learned this the hard way. Got caught in a blizzard with nothing but a denim jacket. Nearly froze. But hey, it makes for a good story.
Downside #3: Leaving. You won't want to. Seriously. The hardest part is packing your bags and saying goodbye to the fairytale. I actually teared up. Pathetic, I know, but I was having such a good time.
What about Apres-Ski? Crucial information!
Ah, the *very* important question. Apres-ski at Die HOCHKONIGIN is… *chef's kiss*. Picture this: you've spent the day carving down the slopes, maybe fallen (a lot) – let's be honest, most of us are more Bambi on ice than Olympic skier - and you're ready to unwind. There are several bars and restaurants with the appropriate vibes to choose from, ranging in style from the more traditional to the more modern.
Crucial Tip 1: Don't be afraid to *embrace* the chaos. Singing along to cheesy German pop with strangers? Absolutely encouraged. Taking shots of Jägermeister? Probably a good idea.
Crucial Tip 2: Pace yourself. The altitude, the alcohol, the post-ski exhaustion… it's a recipe for disaster. I may or may not have ended up dancing on a table at one point. No photos, thank god. (Although, I did meet the most charming Austrian man… but I digress…)
Apres-ski at HOCHKONIGIN is not for the faint of heart, but if you enjoy it, you'll enjoy it and then some. It will be one of the most amazing experiences to ever happen to you. Oh! And don't forget the Kaiserschmarrn with a glass of Apfelstrudel, too yummy!
